The Iowa GOP debate beer poll

The Republican presidential debate in Iowa was last night and the scoreboard was lighting up this morning. So are the commentators. So far the candidates have all won and all lost. How can this be?

The content of the debate was not very substantive. But the canned responses were very good. The efforts of the questioners to get away from the canned responses was feeble (Bachmann was asked what is means to be a submissive wife).

So who said the magic words that would propel them over the top of the other candidates? Or better stated, does anyone really care who said what? The answer does not have to be based on the opinions of the people who watched the substance of the debate. To find out why, review any of the recent speeches made by Mr. Obama. Those speeches also lacked substance, but many people liked them. Mr. Obama is popular despite his recent low showing in opinion polls. This is because he looks and sounds really good.

 You could have 1 beer with Mr. Obama.

So to find out who really scored last night, I again watched the debate, but this time with the TV’s sound off. I then graded the candidates by deciding who I could have a beer with. This is America after all. Here is my rundown:

Mitt Romney: He looks presidential and smiles. Who cares if he drinks beer? I bet he has a lot of well rehearsed drinking stories and he would certainly buy as he has the money. He rates 4 beers.

Herman Cain: He looked good making his statements. He looks like he would be fun to have around. I rate him 3 beers.

Rick Santorum: He acted as if he had a real need to call attention to himself. Thus he would buy and be entertaining. He rates 2 beers.

Michelle Bachmann: I always buy beers for ladies, and she looks both strong and pretty. So I will gladly buy her 2 beers.

John Huntsman: Ignoring the fact the he might not drink, I would still have a beer with him. But just 1 beer as he looks standoffish.

Ron Paul: He acts as if he needs me to buy him a beer. OK, I will buy him one. He rates a negative beer.

Tim Pawlenty: He looked irritated with Michelle Bachmann. Then he looked frustrated. He needs at least 2 beers to calm down.

Newt Gingrich: He does not look like much fun, and I know that I would have to buy. He rates a negative 2 beers.

So I am going out on a limb and predict that Mitt Romney will be the next nominee. But wait! Using the how you look and would I have a beer with you barometer, we will have to wait to see if Matt Damon or George Clooney declare for the Presidency!


One Response to The Iowa GOP debate beer poll

  1. I see how Paul could rate negative beer, but when it comes to candidates who actually have an idea of how the world works I think he’s the best one. Unfortunately, the masses are an ignorant lot and I doubt much of anything will change. Just more of the same.

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